Well, it's that time of year again...time to drag out all those dusty decorations, send Christmas cards to people you haven't seen in a gajillion years and probably wouldn't recognize of the street and spend painstaking hours wrapping prezzies that will be unwrapped at a speed faster than that of light.
But really...Christmas is my favorite time of year. There's a snap of excitement in the air that is almost visible.
My 5 year-old daughter is already suffering from I'm-too-excited-to-sleep syndrome. She bounces around the room as if on speed, trying to be good, but she ends up not listening to what I'm telling her to do and that means she ends up not being so good. It gets aggravating, but I completely understand it. I know she can't help it and (secretly, and I'll admit this only to you) it's heart-warming to watch. I have vivid memories of jumping on my bed yelling, "Only 4 more days of school till Christmas!"
Christmas in New York is magical. The people are moving just as fast, but there are more excuse me's being said and there are well-wishers wherever you go. I was in the Macy's at Herald Square over the weekend (I dare you to find me a place on earth with more people per square inch) and although it was insane, everyone was polite. Everyone there was on the same mission: To find the perfect gift for (fill in the blank). I took some time to myself and got a coffee from Starbucks on the balcony, which overlooks the main floor. Some people were strolling, some people were rushing, some people seemed to be standing there absorbing the energy of Macy's and New York...but as I watched, I thought of how lucky I am.
Maybe, that's selfish but I thought about my fabulous kid (you know, the one who has been secretly eating Energizer batteries...it's the only viable reason I can come up with for her energy levels lately), my job, the security and benefits I get from the job, having both of my parents and watching their love grow even after 39 years of marriage, my friends who have stood behind me during many low points in the last 18 months (and I'll admit that they carried during some of time) and for the potential paramours who send me lessons from the universe, whether they mean to or not.
All of these things give me hope. All of these things make me happy. All of these things make me realize how far I've come on my journey to a better place.
I wish my ex-husband well on his life's journey. I hope he finds happiness. I hope he learns a few of life's lessons. I hope he can make peace with his past and not be defined by it. I suppose I wish that for all of us.
As we move towards the longest night of the year, the day with the least sunshine...may you all be wrapped in light and love whenever you need it and may you all learn that being alone isn't such a bad thing.
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