I've recently discovered that I love reading the blogs of others. Writers seems to put a lot of themselves out there on the 'Net. So I thought I'd give it a try.
Life has a funny way of getting in the way of EVERYTHING. I'm usually too tired at the end of an average day to take a hot bath; that seems so pathetic. I'm a single mom now (my soon-to-be-ex) husband moved out in late July and I have primary custody of our 4 year old daughter, who I will refer to (probably often) as FRU, which is short for Fruit Roll-Up, her favorite food. It's just a nickname I came up with when I started posting on a message board.
FRU is the light of my life. When I look back on certain decisions that I've made, they all lead to her conception. I believe, in my heart of hearts, that I was supposed to have that baby, at that point in time. She was concieved 3 months after the terror attacks that brought down the World Trade Center and damaged the Pentagon and she was born shortly after the 1st anniversary of that tragic events.
Now, every decision that has to be made, is made with FRU in mind. Can I do (fill in the blank) and still be home in time to put her to bed; how will she react to a cerain person or activity or task. But she makes me laugh...she has shown me unconditional love like I have never known...she has given me the gift of HER childhood. I get to relive my own childhood through her. I've rediscovered the joys of PB&J (no crust), the smell of crayons, and all those Christmas specials on TV, like A Charlie Brown Christmas, which I recorded so we can watch it over and over.
Ah, yes, life is exhausting and it takes all I have to get through the day, but then I pick FRU up from pre-school and somehow she gives some of that infamous pre-schooler energy and I flourish through the next few hours. She doesn't realize how much she gives me...I sometimes wonder if I'm capable of giving as much to her.