Well, I survived...

Christmas was challenging this year, but in a good way...

It was the first Christmas since my ex and I split up. I came across the tree ornaments and the tree topper that we bought together and got a little misty-eyed, thinking of the good times we had together. We had fewer and fewer good times in the last two or three years, but it was still sad to have that bit of finality on our marriage.

I cooked on Christmas Eve with my mother and we had a good time. We made scallops wrapped in bacon, homemade caesar salad (including the dressing and croutons from scratch) and a huge pot of Seafood Fra Diavolo sauce that I served over linguini. I just love cooking. I enjoyed every morsel. After dinner and dessert and also after FRU went to sleep, I arranged all the gifts under the tree. I just love doing that; everything has to be just so. Then I started cooking again! I put pork shoulder in the crock pot for BBQ Pulled Pork. I let it cook all night and my family just loved it.

I had a relatively easy time emotionally. Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the whole year. I used to help my now deceased Italian grandparents prepare the traditional fish dinner and just thinking of them on that day makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I know they were watching me, I could just feel them.

Christmas is so hard on so many people. All the bad blood from the whole year comes to the surface. But I stayed true to myself and I didn't spend it with anyone who was toxic to my inner peace. I felt peace this holiday, for the first time in a long time.

And that, I believe, is the true meaning of Christmas...